Sunday, May 29, 2016

All For One and One For All...

Good Evening Friends.  I have missed writing to you.  I want to be better, but for some reason I wanted my blog posts to be meaningful as well as informative about my health.  Maybe that's asking too much.

My last blog post was January 18, 2016.  Seems like such a long time ago....

JANUARY
As much as we'd love to have a house full of puppies there was not even a tiny possibility of us allowing Primrose to be bred so off she went to Towne Animal Clinic in Leesburg, Virginia.  Our normal veterinarian is Dr. Susie Cooke.  She is like a magic fairy that comes to your home and takes care of your animals in their natural habitat.  Susie loves Prim as well as all of our other animals.  Prim is so excited to see her and her assistant. They have ample treats and pats and hugs for their hard work.  Prim's spay happened just after our 35 plus inches of snow.  Lilli went to her friend Madi's house on Friday before the snow came and she stayed until maybe Wednesday of the following week.  It was mostly fun, but I missed hugging her and chatting at nights.

The snow threw us for a loop.  We didn't leave our house for a full week.  Once we got out it was liberating but honestly, I loved every minute of being snowed in with the exception of missing my lilli bird.



FEBRUARY
We were still making our way around in the snow left from the January Blizzard.  Lilli got a role in the school production of Peter Pan.  She was excited and did a wonderful job.  I honestly think she could have handled a much bigger part, but hopefully by doing good work, she will receive that next year.  Due to the blizzard of 2016 we missed lots of practices and several performances.  The children were wonderful and the show went off without a hitch!










On the 26th of the month my parents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.  It's truly amazing to see how my dad still loves my mom and she in return loves him.  Both of my brothers, my sis-in-law Judy, Chloe and the little boys, Rich, Lilli and I were with mom and dad at a small not so good Mexican dinner to celebrate.  Dad and I were seated at opposite ends of the long skinny table.  During dinner, in the midst of all the chaos, with the kids bickering and Tommy talking way too loud I looked up and saw dad eating and looking just as happy as ever.  Any chance he got he would make sure everyone knew that he was celebrating his 60th anniversary.  It was so very cute!  Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of all of us.


MARCH
March rolled in and so did more pain.  My spine and my hips have noticeable pain and I am more fatigued on a daily basis. Often just a simple step down causes big pain throughout my body.  But mostly days are good and for that I am truly thankful.

Lilli finished up another WLBL season.  She had a great time, but her team record didn't fair so well and they lost a heartbreaker in the playoffs.    Next year will prove to be fun and interesting as Rich has decided to coach.  Lilli is very excited for this. March Madness was also fun around the house until UVA fell apart in the second half of their elite 8 game against Syracuse...needless to say, Big Daddy was a little miffed.

We spent Spring Break with our good friends the Sowards, the Jenkins and the English's as well as Lilli bringing her friend Madi.  It was one of the best vacations ever.  It never got warm enough to joyfully swim but Lilli and Madi managed a couple jump ins.  I had a fabulous time and those women never let me lift a finger.  I was so well taken care of.



Additionally, we celebrated my Dad's 83rd birthday on the 24th of March.  What a beautiful day.  I do not take a single day I have with my both my dad and my mom for granted.  It's hard to believe that not only am I still daddy's girl, but I've continued to draw closer to him these last few years.

My appointments with Dr. Heyer remained uneventful with scans showing things as steady.  Pain is believed to be bone pain.  Steady is good.  No progression is good.


Thing ONE and Thing TWO celebrating Dr. Seuss's birthday! 



APRIL/MAY
We started April by celebrating Jake's 22nd birthday at Clyde's.  His little sister was more than excited to see her Big Bro.  But no more excited than his dad and I.



My XGeva shot continues to cause me to be really sick for three to four days.  It's awful.  It feels like a horrible case of the flu.  So bad I can hardly move, hardly speak - it stinks!!  I'm thinking we may stop doing these if they continue causing me so much discomfort afterwards.

As May rolled in so did the monsoon season.  Soccer and golf are in full swing with the exception of all the cancellations due to the 18 days of straight rain!!!

So, it's time to do full scans

So, off to the scans....

I had the scans on Wednesday before Mother's Day, followed by the XGeva injection on Friday before Mother's Day.

We celebrated Sunday Morning with Mother's Day Breakfast.  Mom and Dad, Chloe and the little boys and Rich, Lilli and I met at LG&CC for early breakfast.  Chloe had to go to work so we took the  boys and mom and dad to church with us.






               
                  



 




After church I took a nap with Tucker.  I woke up with  a stabbing pain in my left calf.  I had the same pain earlier in the day, but it was now much worse than before.  After a couple more hours and a conversation with my NP Mary Steimer, we decided to go get checked for blood clots.

We were treated promptly and with expert care at Inova Loudoun's ER and Radiology Departments where I underwent a Doppler test and a CT on my chest to look for embolisms.  Both tests were negative so we were allowed to leave.  By the time we pulled into our driveway and I got out of the car the full-blown side effects of the XGeva had taken over.  I was SICK.  I practically crawled into bed and stayed until Tuesday of that week.  Once the negative side effects were gone I was good!

Next was my follow up with Dr. Heyer to go over my report!  Long story short, my lung tumors are progressing.  Progress is not a good word when dealing with CANCER!  One tumor in my lung has grown on one bias by 50% and is now pressing on my pulmonary artery.  I now experience many symptoms that I've avoided up till now.  Those include: shortness of breath, pressure on my chest and lungs, pain when bending over, becoming easily winded - especially when climbing stairs, carrying things or bending over.  It is a very uncomfortable feeling.  I feel anxious about how I feel.  Honestly, I've been a bit sad as I now feel SICK.  I feel like I have lung cancer.

So, there are a couple of ways to handle these tumors.  One is to biopsy and see if the tumor has developed a resistance to the chemo meds.  If it has, then we would treat the tumor with a resistance inhibitor and then continue with the chemo I'm currently taking.

We can treat the growing tumor with radiation, which is the quickest way to shrink a tumor and I would not have to wait for the biopsy to see if the tumor has developed a resistance and then treat it - we can begin radiation immediately while remaining on chemo.

Dr. Heyer felt that immediate radiation is the best option for me as he wants the tumor off my pulmonary artery and he wants me to continue with the chemo.

He sent me to see my old friend Dr. Bajaj at Fairfax Hospital for him to review my scans.  He is the leading Radiology Oncologist.  Additionally, he wants me to have a brain MRI as I've been having more headaches and waking up with serious head pain.

I had my brain MRI done on Friday at noon and met with Dr. Bajaj immediately following.  Dr. Bajaj agrees with Dr. Heyer.  He feels the best route of treatment is radiation to my left lung.  He ordered me to start the first of June and have 20 sessions.  He also reviewed my brain MRI and it showed nothing new.  He believes that is simply bone pain from the cancer.

I have had my initial simulation/consultant appointment with the radiology department getting my upper body mold made and getting my temporary tattoos put in place.  Permanent tattoos will be done the day of my first treatment.  (Hoping Owen will come up with something clever for me to turn these tats into).  I will begin treatment on Monday, June 6th with treatment every day (except Saturday and Sunday) until July 1st.

The possible side effects are tiredness and feeling run down, sore throat and trouble swallowing, a cough, hair loss, chest pain, a temperature and shivering, feeling sick, sore skin in the treatment area.  This radiation will hopefully not be as bad for me as the radiation I had on my head/brain was.  I ended up quite sick but am hoping this will be better.  No matter how sick I am confident it will shrink my tumors!

I admit I'm disappointed to learn my tumors are growing and even a bit fearful at the undertaking of radiation again, but My God is not surprised nor worried.  Nothing has changed for HIM. He loves me as much as always.  He goes before me and He guards the rear.  I am reminded that...

I am the head and not the tail.

AMEN!

















Saturday, January 16, 2016

This Little Light Of Mine

Friday, January 15



Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

I have been in bed most of the last 48 hours. My XGeva injection (which I received Wednesday morning and receive every 28 days) has, for the last two months, been knocking me on my bum for a week or two after receiving it. I am so weak and tired I'm barely able to get out of bed. I feel as though I am going downhill fast and I tend to be a bit emotional because I'm so tired and worn down.

Today, in the midst of feeling this way God in his awesomeness reminded me of his love, his faithfulness and to love others....


The first was a friend wrote to share a piece of her journal entry... "What is life all about? Doing good and being comfortable? No! It's about glorifying God in all that we do, no matter what the situation. May others see God's hand and light upon us so that we can draw others to Him. Donna Barkley is an excellent example of this.  Thanks for being a wonderful example of how to live, you encourage many and more importantly, please the Lord!"


Then I received these pictures of my boy.  First one -I immediately texted back ....... Ahh, The face I love more than life itself!  In this picture I see my son healthy, peaceful, joyful and the light back in his eyes! Hopeful!





Then he sent this one with the caption...
"My friend T. We're the only black people at oak tree..ha!


In this picture and in his caption I see my son having fun with friends - laughing and enjoying life again.




My gratitude for where Owen is now and how hard he's working leaves me speechless really only able to thank God for his promises for my son.




In the midst of such personal affirmations from Christ I have felt such profound sadness today due to the news of a high school boy who hung himself yesterday on a playground. I cannot imagine the magnitude of pain his family is feeling although there have been times my own prayers were nothing more than sobs and moanings to God.

  ...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  Romans 8:26

God knows this family's pain at the loss of their boy. Just as he knows my friend's pain at the sudden loss of her dad and my suffering with cancer.  These things are hard and some unimaginable yet I still believe God is in charge and He is GOOD. And only He could give peace in the midst of such darkness.  Let's cling to that peace -HIS peace and let it cause a reflection of Him from us onto others.

It's really simple. Look around for the shadows and let your little light shine. Remember that old childhood Sunday School song, This Little Light of Mine?  Go ahead... Let It Shine!!


Ironicly -Not really -Just God's amazing timing ... my friend Kelly Wing sent me this picture as I was finishing writing this last night.