HUMBLE PIE!  OH MY OH MY!!

AND now literally minutes after finishing my neat and tidy blog

entry about compassion and walking alongside people in their tough

times, I just failed miserably with my own sweet husband.  Why are

we always slowest to serve those who are most treasured to us?

In the midst of this frozen tundra Rich ran out to run errands and

get special ‘sleepover’ treats for Lilli’s sleepover tonight.  He

called to check in from the grocery store to say he was off to

get Ryann early so as not to let the weather get in the way of they

girl's sleepover. And instead of me saying great honey thanks be safe,

I make some sarcastic remarks about him panicking in the weather!

He let me have it with, “Donna, sometimes you have so little compassion

when it is not something that you relate to”!

At the risk of being a BIG FAT HYPOCRITE, I will still post my entry, but

know that I have apologized to my sweet hubby and will try harder!

Every day!

Donna’s Life Application Verse For Today!!

Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone. John 8:7

who says God doesn't have great timing and a sense of humor!!!

Baghhahhahah...

ORIGINAL POST BEFORE DESSERT OF HUMBLE PIE!

I Am With You…..

Sometimes you feel as if you are in a free fall, when people or things you had counted on

let you down.  Especially people, and when they let you down its hard.  You feel hurt and

sometimes alone.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23

I Am With You. These four words are a safety net, protecting you from falling into despair.  Remembering this

changes your perspective radically.  Not only is He with me, but he is holding my hand.

Misery Loves Company…..

Obviously, I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box, but I never knew the phrase

Misery Loves Company meant you wanted to bring someone down to your level so they

too were miserable – that in making them feel badly about themselves you in turn feel better

about yourself.

God wired me with a little extra dose of compassion and for that I am grateful.

I thought it was simply that every battle is fought harder and made lighter when

someone is walking with you. And as I grow in his grace and trust in His

provisions for knowing best, I am more easily able to walk beside without 

becoming codependent. But wow, I missed the real meaning behind

 Misery Loves Company! And that’s ok!

My version of Misery Loves Company….

Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, 

they came every one from his own place… for they had made an appointment together to

come to mourn with him and to comfort him. Job 2:11

No matter what our foundations,

Let’s be the friend who comes from our own place…to comfort others.

WAIT!!!!

 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A PLANE HEADED FOR A WEEK IN CALIFORNIA

instead.....

DAY 2
of

RADIATION for ME
and

STOMACH FLU RICH

Rich was invited by our Pro at Loudoun Golf & Country Club to play in a ProAm Tournament in Lojolla, California next week.  We made plans to make a full week of it - we were to head out this morning - we had plans to meander up the coast just taking it all in.  Relaxing in a place both physically and mentally  -  sharing this experience together just the two of us.  I've never been.... and Rich has always wanted to do this with me and share some of his favorite places.  Then we were going to join the golf foursome for some great golf and ladies times!

We even had the wonderful Beth Kelley all booked to keep our sweet little birdy while we were gone!  Imagine Lilli's disappointment!!!

In this I trust Him too, knowing that we will get another chance.

For now I'm most disappointed for my sweet man.  I hope another ProAm is right around the corner as well as our coast adventure!  Love you Big Daddy!!!  You are the Best!

More Fun Ahead For Us!

Lilli Has A Fat Lip & I Have Cancer!!

THREE AM HEAVENLYS

I love my early early mornings which usually begin around 3 AM when I take my pain meds.  Although I keep my medicine on my bedside table and feel as though I've barely moved in taking them, it's enough to wake my little snuggly-mate, Miss Primrose.  I give her credit she initially tries to re-situate herself and sometimes it works but usually we are outside walking by 4 AM.

During our early outings I am so completely peaceful with the world. I'm not tired, I'm not anxious I'm not anything. I feel like God and I are there in that moment and He is giving me my daily gift - right there in that moment with Him in the complete silence and darkness he hands it to me.

Cancer a GIFT?  Now, you know I'm crazy!  It's not the Cancer that's the gift but it's all that has fallen to the sides because of the cancer!  Just ripped away. It's all gone!

Nothing is so important as living for good.  I stand there and I am thankful for this gift.  It's as if He and I are in agreement like i've never been before.  It's as if I knew it was coming all along and I am so prepared for this.  I'm so prepared to let it all fall...it is nothing.  Nothing. I really feel as though I'm on a different plane now - I'm walking in the heavenlys on earth.  It's the most amazing feeling and while I know there will be lots of difficulties during this journey I am ok with it.  I am committed to being grace filled and to encourage others to see if we can all just live with a little more of  'heaven on earth'.

I dare say we've all had these wakup calls through the years.  Those magical moments that force us all to pause and try to readjust how we walk through life vowing to slow down and take advantage of all the beauty.  Not letting life race by.  But alas we seem to not be able to hold the place for too long.

And true to form, even in my super great heavenly place a little hell breaks loose!  Sunday evening Rich was having an allergic reaction to something and we double dosed him with benedryl.  He was out like a light.  Lilli appeared around 7pm throwing up.  She was up all night and on several occasions she did not make her destination!  Needless to say it was a long icky night.  Around 5 AM Prim can wait no longer and we start out for walk.  Lilli came back down just then and i told her to go to the bathroom in my bedroom and I'd meet her there.  I'm thinking she's fine.  Imagaine my shock when I return inside just a few minutes later to Rich being totally disoriented and scared and Lilli with a split lip!!!  Poor girlie, seems she fainted when she got to our bathroom door.  I felt so bad for her.  Prim didn't seem to notice!


PS GUESS WHO WAS UP ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT...yours truly.  My 4 am walk wasn't quite as pleasant, but i'm feeling much better today and happy to report I'm having my hair done today. Yeah!

Be blessed!

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.

Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in spiritual realms. My Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness.

“Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.”

—Zechariah 2:13

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

—Isaiah 30:15

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

—2 Corinthians 12:9 amp

YOLO

A lot of people have expressed their feelings of anger at God over my being sick.

It's amazing to me that people would care enough about me that they would be angry at the great I Am.

That somehow I've had a significant impact in their lives that they would dare stand up for me!

Say No!

Not Fair!

What would they suggest?  Someone else?



But honestly, Why NOT ME?

As theses symptoms have progressed and the diagnoses have come in, I haven't once thought why me?  Not once!

Now I've had a few moments of HOW LONG!

The funny thing is everyone seems ok with the question of WHY ME 
but not with HOW LONG!

They say, "Don't say that! Don't think about that! Don't look at those statistics, that website, that case!  And what ever you do, don't GOOGLE IT!


But what if HOW LONG turned into a movement - a great big beautiful movement of love.

Love is an action you know.

What if we asked a HOW LONG, every day?  If we intentionally thought, HOW LONG maybe we would live more intentionally in the world.

But the challenge is not to live in a self absorbed free falling YOLO....

But in a LET ME MAKE IT COUNT 'YOLO'.

In my world this is reinforced by my deep belief in Jesus being the son of God and as a follower for me I am committed to trying to live according to what I believe He calls me to.

That may not be your guide, your rock, your belief, but because I believe it so completely I hope it is or that someday it will be.

But for now, I simply challenge you as my friend to love fiercely - to those you know and those you don't.  To know that every smile, every opened door, every entry onto a crowded road, every understanding nod to a struggling person will just make everything a little better.

If you merely love those who love you,

what quality of credit and thanks is that to you?

For even the very sinners love their lovers Luke 6: 32

Let's not merely say that we love each other,

let us show the truth by our actions  (1 John 3:18 NLT) 

 Let your love be sincere a real thing;

hate what is evil

hold fast to that which is good. Romans 12:9

  

Bethel Music - It is Well (Live)

But I've Never Smoked....

Official Diagnosis is LUNG CANCER.  New pathology panel has been ordered to figure out the exact mutations so that we will know which treatment therapies work best.  The first priority remains shrinking the skullbase tumor – radiation begins this Thursday.
I have had a few moments of despair at the thought of how much or should I say how little time I have left.  This despair helps no one…. I shall let it go….
So for today, I leave this…



February 13
Peace be with you! Ever since the resurrection, this has been My watchword to those who yearn for Me. As you sit quietly, let My Peace settle over you and enfold you in My loving Presence. To provide this radiant Peace for you, I died a criminal’s death. Receive My Peace abundantly and thankfully. It is a rare treasure, dazzling in delicate beauty yet strong enough to withstand all onslaughts. Wear My Peace with regal dignity. It will keep your heart and mind close to Mine.
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” … Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”
—John 20:19, 21
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
—John 14:27


February 14
Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life—and onward into eternity.
Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
—Hebrews 12:2
“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”—Isaiah 41:13

How Can I Be So Loved?

There seems to be a wave of shock and disbelief concerning my current medical status.  As most of you know, just a few months ago I was actively engaged in my crazy life with Lilli, Chloe, Owen,  Jake, Hunter, Tucker, RICH, work, the windy hill fashion show, friends, friends, friends and lots of other stuff!  Thanksgiving and Christmas were upon us and everyone started to get back into the swing of life after the first of the year.  Life seemingly ebbing and flowing as it should.  Some people knew I had been having some pretty big pain issues involving my head and neck, but when Cara's email came out on Thursday, February 5th all hell broke loose amongst my peeps!!!  And boy do I have a lot of peeps!  Some even thought Cara's email was a joke.

The month of January was crippling for me and I had become unable to function in normal daily routine - talking, swallowing, sleeping, working, reading, driving.  The doctor appointments we getting closer together and I was in need of help as I couldn't drive.  Rich had just started a new job and I was reluctant to have him take so much time off. In stepped Big Bad Cara to sound the ALERT!  And sound it she did.  The really beautiful thing is Cara has walked this path before with doctors and pathology and scheduling and is incredibly organized and doesn't mind saying the hard things in the right way with the right intention.  So, yes, on occasion she will be speaking for me, for Rich, for our family.  And yes, sometimes she will be the person saying please give Donna some space as I am not good at saying that myself.

The good news is I am on new pain meds which are working pretty well.  I am still unable to drive.  Due to the location of the skull base tumor, talking, swallowing, etc. is difficult.  These very normal activities cause tremendous stress on my skull and the pain medicine losses its effectiveness.  Please understand that I am working hard to limit myself - the act of act speaking and being in an environment where there is stimulation and other noises are very difficult for me. Even a few hours of verbal communication can start an onset of brutal evening pain that leaves me helpless.  Texting, emailing and blogging are relatively easy right now and I am enjoying reaching out his way.  I switched from the caring bridge blog that Cara was maintaining and I am now maintaining this one myself!

The outpouring of love from Cara's ALERT has been mindboggling!!!  How can I be so loved?  How?  I really don't have words!

Precise Pathology is more important than Pace of Pathology!

Precise Pathology is what we are looking for.  As of this morning the pathology was still not complete.  The Petscan results were available and showed additional bone metastases areas located on both hips and near the T7 vertebrae.  The good news is there appears to be no adrenal spread or other major organs affected at this time.

While our time with Doctor Heyer did not reveal all that we hoped it would we did receive new important information and we have a plan for the next week and that's enough for now.

Monday I will begin using a new drug treatment called Xgeva.  Xgeva is used to help prevent bone fractures and other skeletal conditions in people with tumors that have spread to the bone. This is an injection that will be given once a month in the medical oncologist office.  There are some side effects to this drug, but the benefits are believed to far outweigh the negatives.

Thursday I will begin the radiation treatment to start shrinking the skull based tumor.  As of now I am scheduled to have radiation five days a week for four weeks.

Once we have the full pathology the treatment plan will be updated to address specific type of primary Cancer.

I have so much more I want to share tonight, but I'm exhausted and my pain is on the rise.  Look for a new post tomorrow.

 

This Little Light of Mine....

Well, it seems there isn't a simple or easy answer right now.

'Dr. Bobby'

Yesterday's biopsy confirmed a malignancy. The exact type has not been confirmed but Dr. Bobby was able to get adequate tissue and the pathologist is working to have it by Thursday morning when Rich and I meet with Dr. Heyer, the medical oncologist.   While this is not the information we were hoping for, I am very grateful to be moving forward, that the procedure did not hurt although the base of my skull is quite sore this morning. As well as having a sore throat and that no matter the diagnosis we will go forward with a positive attitude knowing that the Great Physician is working above it all.

God remained so faithful yesterday in His protection during my surgery as there was no additional compromise to the lung integrity.

Lilli had a great day at school, a great afternoon with the Hughes and a fantastic piano lesson where she along with the world's greatest piano teacher put together a more difficult piece - which Lilli had asked to learn.  Lilli was inspired to go after a more complicated piece after listening to her BFF, Ryann practice.  I think she's a keeper - Lilli and Mrs. Hughes!  She topped off the evening with a school night sleep over with Ryann!

Sweet Primrose had a great day with the wonderful Watson family!  It's amazing to me how every single need of ours is being met in a bigger and better way than anyone could ask for.  Prim enjoyed a good night's rest.

All Night Long....

But the icing on the cake for this momma me was that Owen had the best possible outcome from his court date. He has been granted permission to return to Asheville, NC to continue his treatment plan.  I believe the judge held him accountable as well as recognizing he is working hard with a good plan in place.  He has to come back in 90 days with progress report and proof of sobriety and being drug free.  He just left with Gregg, headed back to Asheville.  Be safe my sweet strong son!



February 11

My Peace is like a shaft of golden Light shining on you continuously. During days of bright sunshine, it may blend in with your surroundings. On darker days, My Peace stands out in sharp contrast to your circumstances. See times of darkness as opportunities for My Light to shine in transcendent splendor. I am training you to practice Peace that overpowers darkness. Collaborate with Me in this training. Do not grow weary and lose heart.

John 1:4-5 AMP  In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it [put it out or absorbed it or appropriated it, and is unreceptive to it]

Hebrews 12:3  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

NO Deodorant, NO Makeup.... NO SELFIE!!!

These instructions alone are enough to cause any 50+ perimenopausal woman stress!
The biospy - not so much.

I'm so sure God is doing something so great in my family and I cannot wait to see it revealed.

There is something that is so changed in a you once you have children.  If you have them, you know what I mean.  Your heart becomes so completely reconstructed never to return to where it once was.  I have had my heart so completely filled with abounding love and hope and so shattered due to my feelings for my children at different times through the years.  These last few years have been really difficult ones as I have watched my son, Owen, fight his addiction to drugs and alcohol - and sometimes not fight, but give in.  He's fighting now and I'm so proud of him.  He returned home last week from being away for 4 months.  He was in jail for a month and then in a treatment center where he did work - hard work.  He seems to have allowed God to rebuild his self-love, let go of so many years of anger, resentment and lies.  I see his relationships with family being repaired and restored.  I see such positive hopeful things between he and his Dad, Mary and the boys.  His relationships with Rich, Chloe, Jake and Lilli is moving forward in such a positive way.  I am grateful beyond words.  Truly!

So in light of my very serious situation, you would think I'd be a bit consumed with what's ahead of me today, but instead I want to focus on all the good that is happening around me in the midst of this trial. 

As I sit here writing this, Owen and Mary are in Frederick MD where Owen has to appear before a judge and will get sentencing for an arrest back in October.  You ask how that's good - well, its good because he has peace about it, he is accepting responsibility for his actions and I feel at peace about not being in the middle of it (I think the book codependent no more was written about ME! - i've been working hard on me while Owen was away as well).  So the good is that God is in the business of restoration and for that I am most grateful!

It is my deepest prayer that the courts will recognize his hard work and that he will be permitted to leave and return to Asheville where he has already been accepted into a step down program.  But alas, I trust that God is moving and working all things for good.

Have a great day my friends and followers!!  And stay tuned - maybe one selfie!!

Sunday Salutations... But First Let Me Take A Selfie!

Due to the high doses of narcotics needed to manage my pain, I am no longer able to drive!  As of last week, YOU, my faithful family and friends have taken over chauffeuring me.  Special thanks this past week to the one and only Joylyn Hannahs.  Many of you know Joylyn for her beautiful photography work which can be found at www.jhannahs.com. What you may not know her for is her world-class selfie images. Joylyn and I spent the day together on Thursday - the first day of my newly managed pain.  She laughed and cried with me... Mostly tears of laughter over previously mentioned selfies. I know this is serious stuff but I'm filled with gratitude right now for the laughs I was able to have.  And especially for the outpouring of love.

Radiology Oncologist, Dr. B.

Dr. Bobby - Interventional Pulmonologist

I know it will be difficult to thank everyone every week for their help no after the form but please know my heart is full at the outpouring of love for me and my family.

Also, special thanks to the meal brigade..... WOW! Nicole Horsche and I think Kristy Schnabel put this together. I'm so touched at the outpouring of sign ups!  Having overseen and participated in many of these schedules I know it's not always so beautifully filled and so quickly. Again I'm so humbled by the outpouring of love.  I am especially grateful as I want Rich and Lilli to be taken care of and this will help me still feel like we can do our family dinners which are more important than ever!  So thank each and every one of you.

Cara Coleman was wonderful last week and this week getting everything lined up with caring bridge, getting the word out to the masses, and helping me organize doctors info etc. I'm so thankful for her and her wealth of knowledge and her making me rest!  She will continue to help organize driving schedules etc. you can reach her at clclexus2@aol.com.

My girl Britt Koester I think saw me at my worse. She got me the day I had my CT scan and I was not in good shape / pre medication tweaking!!!  Thank you Dr. Heyer. We all thank you.

On Wednesday morning my friend of 40+ years texted and said I really can't wait any longer to see you.  Can I stop by.  Within 15 minutes of her arrival, I received the call from Dr. Heyer, the medical oncologist, asking me to come to his office. How about God giving Tammy the holy nudge to reach out to me and her listening to him.  We were able to zip right down to his office.  Otherwise I would have had to wait to get someone to come pick me up.  I'm so grateful for Tam's faithful friendship. 

I am already worried I'm missing someone on my Sunday Salutations. Please forgive me if I have.

Petscan and Shopping!

My morning started waking up from the second night in a row in my own bed.  I cannot tell you what a beautiful thing it was to lay my head down on my pillow last night and not wake for a full 4 hours - when my 'med alarm' woke me.  I was able to take my medicine and go right back to sleep until the pitter patter of a certain little girl's feet came into my room at 5 am carrying Prim who needed to potty.  I threw on my boots, wrapped my coat around me and proceeded out the door as Lilli went back to bed.  I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude this morning as I walked the puppy just praying and praising God for the beauty of rest.  For the beauty of a husband who loves me.  For my family and for all the wonderful friends who have been lifting me up in prayer.  I couldn't help but thank God for allowing the pain of these last few months as I know He is making beauty from ashes.  This morning I am grateful for the manageability of my pain.

Rich Lilli and I headed to Fairfax for a petscan for me and shopping shopping for them.  They returned right on time to pick me up with a trunk full of new shoes, two happy and hunger shoppers and a "find" for lunch... Ted's Bulletin in Arlington.... YUMMY!  I was able to eat a bit and felt good.

All that shopping was hard work!

We made it home just in time for Lilli to change and get to her game on time.  The Mighty Tigers were slow off the blocks, but returned home with a victory!  I am so thankful to have gotten to the game this week as I've missed the last few weeks.

Our evening wound down with a win for UVA's Men's Basketball against Louisville.  Wahoowa!!

The house has quieted down and I've taken this opportunity to make the move from caring bridge to this blog.  I want to let each of you know how very much all of your messages mean to me.  I am truly humbled by the outpouring of love from each of you.  My prayer continues to be that I can be a light - especially during this time that can seem somewhat dark.

If you follow me on Facebook you know I often share from the daily devotional book, Jesus Calling.  Today seemed as though the hand of God had written it especially for me.


February 7
Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.  Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway. This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of “the world, the flesh, and the devil.” Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence.

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.—Romans 8:28 amp

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.—Psalm 42:11 nasb

Good night friends.  Thank you for being a part of my life.

Bless you!

Earlier Posts on Caring Bridge Site

Friday, Feb 6, 2015 7:29pm – Great News!!

Good evening!

I am so thankful to report that Donna's pain has finally gotten under control. The medical oncologist, Dr. Heyer, increased dosages and added just the right combination of medicines (2 for pain and a steroid for the inflammation) on Wednesday. By Thursday morning, Donna felt much needed relief. Last night, she slept, lying down, in her own bed... this has not been possible for months. Not only did Donna find relief, but so did Rich and Lilli as you can only imagine how much it has been hurting their hearts to see Donna this way. Praising God for answering all of your prayers!!

Many have asked how much Lilli knows. Donna has been truthful with her in that she knows something has been found in Donna's head that has been causing tremendous pain. She knows that Donna has to go through a lot of tests to figure out what it is and what needs to be done to make it better. Lilli is such a compassionate young lady that she worries for her mother and has had some very tearful times but is amazing in her strength, ability to accept and to love.

Donna met her Radiation oncologist, Dr. Bhajaj, Thursday as well as the interventional pulmonologist, Dr. Mahajan AKA Dr. Bobby. She loves them both. Rich has NOTHING to worry about but if any of you have ever had any major medical issues where you needed to rely on a doctor or nurse tremendously, you understand the importance of Donna liking/loving the docs and the innocence of the "crush". I have many crushes on my daughter Justice's doctors... they saved her life and fight for her always. Donna feels that way and it seems to have given her peace and clarity of information.

The radiation oncologist believes that the MRI film of the tumor does NOT show evidence that the tumor (which he described as looking like a large marshmallow) has caused damage to the brain. He does believe it looks to be about a stage 4 in terms of size/ growth. He was very encouraging to Donna and positive about his role. Donna met with him and his team again today to be fitted for her radiation mask. She can begin radiation on the brain tumor as early as next Thursday.

The biopsy of the lung mass is actually set for Tuesday, not Monday. The surgeon believes he will have pathology that same day. Additionally, he will take a look at her lymph nodes during the procedure. It should take about 1.5 hours. No admission unless her lung collapses.

A plan for treatment will be discussed with the oncologist (not the radiation oncologist, but the medical oncologist) on Thursday.

Donna's house was cleaned today by her regular crew of ladies. She typically has house cleaning done every two weeks. I have emphasized the number of people and ways for assistance in this regard and that we may take over and clean more often if it will keep her relaxed!

Only Donna Barkley continues to have quick wit and humor despite pain and challenging diagnoses. I tried, to no avail, to attach some selfies that she and her "driver" J-Lo took with the docs on Thursday. Her faith and hope were restored when your prayer, the medicine and her God brought her relief this week. Donna's hope was renewed when she felt all of us come beside she, Rich and Lilli.

Donna is looking to change her updates from here to her blog. She has a title picked out... "Big headaches, big friendships and BIG GOD"!! Donna, Rich and lilli have been blessed this week by the outpouring of love and support. Thank you!!

“Meal Schedule”

Here is the link to the meal schedule:  www.takethemameal.com

Last Name: Barkley   Password: Donna

 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

In Donna's words:  Some of you may want all the medical jargon and details, while others may not. Quite frankly it is all spinning in my head (literally), so I will share the more human side of what has been going on with me medically. About a month and half ago I began having headaches for days on end. Additionally, I had intense neck pain. At first, we thought it was stress related. However, when it did not get better, and in fact increased in duration and intensity, I began to seek medical assistance. I am no longer able to lie down without pain. I have difficulty swallowing and talking. In the past few weeks I have had several types of scans and begun to form a team of doctors, including an ENT, Neurosurgeon and Oncologist. A tumor has been found in the base of my skull. It is in a location that is very difficult to reach for a biopsy, let alone surgical removal. The neurosurgeon says the tumor must be removed, however, surgical removal is very dangerous and could cause even more damage (as it is now, it is large enough that it has already caused bone and other damage). As such, he is exhausting all other methods of determining much needed information about the type of tumor. Today I had a scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis searching for other information or tumors. If he is not able to gather any information through that scan, then he will determine the best possible means of getting a biopsy.

In Cara Coleman's words and update for 2/4/15:
Donna is one of the most selfless human beings I know. She gives until she has no more to give… and thenfigures out how to give even more. But right now, we cannot allow Donna togive. It is very hard to learn to ask for help and to receive it.  Some of you may have been in situations in your life where you have had to learn how to truly ask and receive. It is humbling and it is against the very nature of most women/ moms of this century. Donna has been fighting the past week and trying to push away her fears and hopeless feelings (laced with pain) by staying connected and busy as if she were healthy. and we cannot allow her to do so any longer. She is in extreme pain and she feels totally debilitated. She must get it under control or she will lose hope. This is where we come in.
First, please pray for Donna. Pray that she fixes her eyes on the Lord in a way that she never has before in her life. She is feeling so weary. Her prayers are frequent, and laden with pleas for help. Pray that Donna feels peace, strength and courage and that she feels relief from her pain. Pray that Donna is able to let go other giving self and give in to her receiving self so that we may join Jesus as he leads her through this scary time. Pray that Rich, Lilli and the rest of their family may be guided by the beacon of hope Himself. Pray that they too feel peace, strength and courage. Pray for all of the medical professionals-may they be wise, compassionate, courageous, strong, hopeful and faithful.
Second, Donna knows a TON of people and a TON of people love Donna. Let’s face it- the girl is connected! While many people are sending encouragement, a lot of us (with best intentions) are also sending questions. When you have as many friends as Donna does, that means 30-50 texts a day with questions of how she is doing. Of course Donna is determined to answer everyone. While her pain levels have improved some and she is now able to rest a bit more (naps that stretch an 1 ½- 2 hours at most), she is a sneeze away from desperation and hopelessness. Weeks of unrelenting pain have Donna at her limits.
PLEASE keep your communication to posts of encouragement and support that do NOT require response (and by require I mean that you know Donna will not feel bad if shedoes not respond).
Third, our offers of help must be very specific. Either offer a specific thing (“ I will pick Lilli up and take her to practice”) or ask if she wants a specific thing. Please do not be put off if Donna cannot answer your questions of “what can I do to help?” She doesn’t know- and quite frankly, if it was up to Donna she would not need help and she would be working, texting and chatting from the chemo infusion chair or operating room. in fact today as she told me she feels as though she is being a wimp.
For now the need is meals and some rides. We are working on a way to set up a ride schedule for radiation, treatments, appointments etc. as Donna is unable to drive because of the extent of her pain and the medications she is taking right now.

UPDATE 2/4/15:  Today Donna met with the Oncologist. The CT scan showed a mass in her lung. On Monday she will have a biopsy of the mass done by an interventional pulmonologist. Additionally, she will begin radiation on the brain tumor as early as next week. A lot of information has yet to be gathered but there is forward movement.

 

COMMENTS FROM FRIENDS LEFT ON THE CARING BRIDGE SITE!

By Lori Legg — Feb 6, 2015 3:05pm Hey girl, you can handle all things, you know it, so sorry it is happening to you, please let me know if there is anything I can do other than make you laugh, love you girlie, hugs and prayers- hang in there.

By Laura Wilklow Hill — Feb 6, 2015 1:57pm Many prayers and LOTS of love to you! You are so strong! Stay positive, sit back and let everyone take care of YOU

By Debra Perkins — Feb 6, 2015 12:17pm Donna - You and your whole family are in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. Geographic distance from all who hold you in their hearts and time between visits does not diminish how cherished you are. So much love, and so many well wishes and prayers are coming your way from all over - we hope they give you great comfort and strength. Hugs and love, Andrew, Debra and Spencer Perkins

By Martha M — Feb 6, 2015 9:28am Dearest-- I believe you already read Jesus Calling, but today's reading really made me think of you....."Come to Me and Rest. I am around you to bless and restore. Breathe me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly to My hand. I am teaching you a difficult lesson, learned only by hardship." I wish you could skip learning this lesson and this hardship, but He has other plans. Love you dearly friend.

By Betsy — Feb 6, 2015 9:11am  My dear Donna,
I, too, wrote a post yesterday, but it is not showing now.... so I will try again. I was so very sorry to hear all of this news..... I will continue to send prayers, positive thoughts and send hugs to wrap you in love. I am happy to drive you for whatever you may need.... I will check the schedule when it is posted. Food seems to be poring in already.... what wonderful friends you have! I don't know what else to say, except I love you. Keep giving us that beautiful smile......... "What me did?"

By kathy borowski — Feb 6, 2015 8:50am Thinking and praying for you Donna every day. Please tell me what you need, you know we'll do anything to help.

By Kurt & Shawn Bowman — Feb 6, 2015 6:00am Donna: As I have said before, this is your time to receive from others. We all love you and you have loved us unconditionally. Let us take care of you, Rich and Lilli. Hold tight to Jesus - He will show you amazing things during this time. Listen for His still, small voice. Praise Him in this storm. Continually say "I trust you Jesus" and His peace will envelope you. Rest in His loving arms. Many of us have walked a similar road but all of our stories are different. Yours will be, too. But our Jesus is the same!
"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." I love you my sweet!

By Jenny Jenkins — Feb 6, 2015 12:07am Holding your hand, Donna. Love you guys.

By Love Dean and Tammy — Feb 5, 2015 11:58pm You guys know how much we love you and are praying for you. Keep focused on what is important...let the rest slide.

By Sonia Cattoi — Feb 5, 2015 8:29pm Donna, You are an incredible inspiration to so many people. You were one of my first friends in Virginia and I miss you so much right now. You have a heart the size of Texas and I have never known anyone who shared so openly in our Bible studies. ; )
Know that Ed and I are praying hard for you, Rich and the family. We love you, girl!

By Carol Frey — Feb 5, 2015 7:38pm Donna - Art and I are sending a mountain of prayers and hugs your way AND we won't stop!

By Kristen Hickman — Feb 5, 2015 7:27pm  Donna, I just want you to know that you and your family are not alone in this fight. You have an army of prayer warriors behind you, who love and adore you. Praying that He will show himself mightily on your behalf, bringing about a complete healing and restoration.

By Sandi Atkins — Feb 5, 2015 2:49pm Donna, You have given so much to so many of us and now it's our turn to give back. Our love and prayers go out to you, Rich, all the children and grandchildren and, of course, to Thelma and Snooks. Take strength from all of us - we love you.

By debbie Schneider — Feb 5, 2015 2:43pm Love you Donna Barkley--you know I'll be storming the gates for you!!!!!

By s p — Feb 5, 2015 2:16pm Donna, you have always been one of my favorite people... I don't say things like that lightly!! You are so so loved.. I'm praying boldly before the throne of our Lord and Saviour for complete healing, no more pain, and peace for you and rich and kids!! Xoxo... I'm coming to see you soon...xoxo

By Kelly Welsh — Feb 5, 2015 12:53pm Donna, I cannot stop crying! I just got word from a friend about Tuesday's appt! I went to your meal schedule and it was full already! Why does that not surprise me girl? This says a lot about you my friend! Logan and I are praying for complete healing and for peace and of course for your pain levels and the whole family! We love you so much! I know you will and always do, but continue to keep your eyes on Him every step of the way! Oxoxox

By Leslie Hagen — Feb 5, 2015 12:36pm Donna (and Rich),
You guys are all set with housekeeping every other Monday, starting this Monday if you want it. If alternating Monday's don't work, Tuesdays are also a possibility. If you don't want to start this service next week (the week of Feb 10), then we can start it the following week or whenever. Stephanie and Salud do a great job. I can vouch for how awesome they are. The only thing we need is guidance on when to come over and what should be cleaned. Other than that, this can go on auto-pilot for as long as needed.

The take a meal site was full... wow, fantastic!

Leslie

By Leslie Hagen — Feb 5, 2015 12:06pm Donna, I'm stunned. Just plain old stunned. I'm getting ready to go into full-on battle mode, with a side order of cheerleading for you.

I read KC's comments and can add to the housekeeping offer. I've reached out to my crew (Stephanie and Salud) to see about their availability to come over every other week. If they can do it, I'm buying. For those that are posting, can we find someone for the alternate weeks? I'm at 703-930-9083 to coordinate.

For meals, I'll go to the link and sign up. Donna, you know that I'm not the best cook, so if the feedback is that my meals are horrible, I gotta know. I'll pull up my big girl panties and try again or order delivery :-)

If you hear honks from 7 --- it'll be me.

We got this... you spend time taking care of yourself.

Love you,

Leslie

By Martha Munn — Feb 5, 2015 11:34am Thoughts, prayers and love to you dear friend.

By Debbie Gardner — Feb 5, 2015 11:21am Donna I am praying for strength, healing and elimination of pain for you, as well as wisdom and inspiration for your doctors and precision in your treatment plan. Love to you and your family!

By Cindy Pearson — Feb 5, 2015 11:08am Donna, my heart hurts for you. Praying you get through this quickly! Sometimes life sucks but remember we are all here for you!!

By Stef Durham — Feb 5, 2015 10:51am Sending you so much love, Donna.

By Alan Sowards — Feb 5, 2015 10:43am Donna, Traci and I are keeping you and your entire family in our prayers. Keep the faith and hang in there.

By janice burns — Feb 5, 2015 10:12am This is hard news. You are a sweet treasure - always with a smile and a kind word. Though we do not understand suffering, we know it is a part of life and yeah, it sucks. May you and your family know the comforting presence of Jesus and be filled each day with the power of his refreshing Holy Spirit. Praying for you. Really praying.

By Keith Seekford — Feb 5, 2015 9:52am Get well fast! "Discount Double Check" belt is in dispute, we have a golf re-match to settle! Love you and Rich!

By Christine Steadman — Feb 5, 2015 8:09am Donna - I started to cry when I heard your news!! I can't help but wonder why do these things happen to the good guys! If there is anything at all we can do to help out through this, please do not hesitate to reach out! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

By Judith Washburn — Feb 5, 2015 8:03am I am so shocked I can't think of anything to say at the moment except I love you so much and will do everything I can to help. Let's start with providing maid service every week. If you know of anyone you would like let me know otherwise I will take care of it.
Love you darling, Judy

By KC — Feb 5, 2015 8:01am Donna,Well, just shows you how tech savvy I am. I wrote a bunch and it obviously didn't go through since the screen is blank after signing in. Typical!
I want you to know that you mean the world to me. You have been a caring and true friend through some of the worst times and some of the best. (think Nonquitt and the dinner table…mmm!) You have given to so many, now is the time to focus on yourself and allow those of us who have benefited from your enduring friendship to give back to you. Try to rest. Remember when you were a little kid and hated naps? Naps are good. We love naps. Any nap is a good nap. Found time. Take those drugs and let yourself sleep. Stop worrying about everyone else - they will be fine. Put that guilt in a drawer and allow others to look after you. God loves you. We all love you. We are all thinking about you, my wonderful, funny, loving friend.