Friday, February 6, 2015

Earlier Posts on Caring Bridge Site



Friday, Feb 6, 2015 7:29pm – Great News!!

Good evening!

I am so thankful to report that Donna's pain has finally gotten under control. The medical oncologist, Dr. Heyer, increased dosages and added just the right combination of medicines (2 for pain and a steroid for the inflammation) on Wednesday. By Thursday morning, Donna felt much needed relief. Last night, she slept, lying down, in her own bed... this has not been possible for months. Not only did Donna find relief, but so did Rich and Lilli as you can only imagine how much it has been hurting their hearts to see Donna this way. Praising God for answering all of your prayers!!

Many have asked how much Lilli knows. Donna has been truthful with her in that she knows something has been found in Donna's head that has been causing tremendous pain. She knows that Donna has to go through a lot of tests to figure out what it is and what needs to be done to make it better. Lilli is such a compassionate young lady that she worries for her mother and has had some very tearful times but is amazing in her strength, ability to accept and to love.

Donna met her Radiation oncologist, Dr. Bhajaj, Thursday as well as the interventional pulmonologist, Dr. Mahajan AKA Dr. Bobby. She loves them both. Rich has NOTHING to worry about but if any of you have ever had any major medical issues where you needed to rely on a doctor or nurse tremendously, you understand the importance of Donna liking/loving the docs and the innocence of the "crush". I have many crushes on my daughter Justice's doctors... they saved her life and fight for her always. Donna feels that way and it seems to have given her peace and clarity of information.

The radiation oncologist believes that the MRI film of the tumor does NOT show evidence that the tumor (which he described as looking like a large marshmallow) has caused damage to the brain. He does believe it looks to be about a stage 4 in terms of size/ growth. He was very encouraging to Donna and positive about his role. Donna met with him and his team again today to be fitted for her radiation mask. She can begin radiation on the brain tumor as early as next Thursday.

The biopsy of the lung mass is actually set for Tuesday, not Monday. The surgeon believes he will have pathology that same day. Additionally, he will take a look at her lymph nodes during the procedure. It should take about 1.5 hours. No admission unless her lung collapses.

A plan for treatment will be discussed with the oncologist (not the radiation oncologist, but the medical oncologist) on Thursday.

Donna's house was cleaned today by her regular crew of ladies. She typically has house cleaning done every two weeks. I have emphasized the number of people and ways for assistance in this regard and that we may take over and clean more often if it will keep her relaxed!

Only Donna Barkley continues to have quick wit and humor despite pain and challenging diagnoses. I tried, to no avail, to attach some selfies that she and her "driver" J-Lo took with the docs on Thursday. Her faith and hope were restored when your prayer, the medicine and her God brought her relief this week. Donna's hope was renewed when she felt all of us come beside she, Rich and Lilli.

Donna is looking to change her updates from here to her blog. She has a title picked out... "Big headaches, big friendships and BIG GOD"!! Donna, Rich and lilli have been blessed this week by the outpouring of love and support. Thank you!!


“Meal Schedule”


Here is the link to the meal schedule:  www.takethemameal.com

Last Name: Barkley   Password: Donna

 



Wednesday, February 4, 2015

In Donna's words:  Some of you may want all the medical jargon and details, while others may not. Quite frankly it is all spinning in my head (literally), so I will share the more human side of what has been going on with me medically. About a month and half ago I began having headaches for days on end. Additionally, I had intense neck pain. At first, we thought it was stress related. However, when it did not get better, and in fact increased in duration and intensity, I began to seek medical assistance. I am no longer able to lie down without pain. I have difficulty swallowing and talking. In the past few weeks I have had several types of scans and begun to form a team of doctors, including an ENT, Neurosurgeon and Oncologist. A tumor has been found in the base of my skull. It is in a location that is very difficult to reach for a biopsy, let alone surgical removal. The neurosurgeon says the tumor must be removed, however, surgical removal is very dangerous and could cause even more damage (as it is now, it is large enough that it has already caused bone and other damage). As such, he is exhausting all other methods of determining much needed information about the type of tumor. Today I had a scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis searching for other information or tumors. If he is not able to gather any information through that scan, then he will determine the best possible means of getting a biopsy.

In Cara Coleman's words and update for 2/4/15:
Donna is one of the most selfless human beings I know. She gives until she has no more to give… and thenfigures out how to give even more. But right now, we cannot allow Donna togive. It is very hard to learn to ask for help and to receive it.  Some of you may have been in situations in your life where you have had to learn how to truly ask and receive. It is humbling and it is against the very nature of most women/ moms of this century. Donna has been fighting the past week and trying to push away her fears and hopeless feelings (laced with pain) by staying connected and busy as if she were healthy. and we cannot allow her to do so any longer. She is in extreme pain and she feels totally debilitated. She must get it under control or she will lose hope. This is where we come in.
First, please pray for Donna. Pray that she fixes her eyes on the Lord in a way that she never has before in her life. She is feeling so weary. Her prayers are frequent, and laden with pleas for help. Pray that Donna feels peace, strength and courage and that she feels relief from her pain. Pray that Donna is able to let go other giving self and give in to her receiving self so that we may join Jesus as he leads her through this scary time. Pray that Rich, Lilli and the rest of their family may be guided by the beacon of hope Himself. Pray that they too feel peace, strength and courage. Pray for all of the medical professionals-may they be wise, compassionate, courageous, strong, hopeful and faithful.
Second, Donna knows a TON of people and a TON of people love Donna. Let’s face it- the girl is connected! While many people are sending encouragement, a lot of us (with best intentions) are also sending questions. When you have as many friends as Donna does, that means 30-50 texts a day with questions of how she is doing. Of course Donna is determined to answer everyone. While her pain levels have improved some and she is now able to rest a bit more (naps that stretch an 1 ½- 2 hours at most), she is a sneeze away from desperation and hopelessness. Weeks of unrelenting pain have Donna at her limits.
PLEASE keep your communication to posts of encouragement and support that do NOT require response (and by require I mean that you know Donna will not feel bad if shedoes not respond).
Third, our offers of help must be very specific. Either offer a specific thing (“ I will pick Lilli up and take her to practice”) or ask if she wants a specific thing. Please do not be put off if Donna cannot answer your questions of “what can I do to help?” She doesn’t know- and quite frankly, if it was up to Donna she would not need help and she would be working, texting and chatting from the chemo infusion chair or operating room. in fact today as she told me she feels as though she is being a wimp.
For now the need is meals and some rides. We are working on a way to set up a ride schedule for radiation, treatments, appointments etc. as Donna is unable to drive because of the extent of her pain and the medications she is taking right now.

UPDATE 2/4/15:  Today Donna met with the Oncologist. The CT scan showed a mass in her lung. On Monday she will have a biopsy of the mass done by an interventional pulmonologist. Additionally, she will begin radiation on the brain tumor as early as next week. A lot of information has yet to be gathered but there is forward movement.
 
COMMENTS FROM FRIENDS LEFT ON THE CARING BRIDGE SITE!
By Lori Legg — Feb 6, 2015 3:05pm Hey girl, you can handle all things, you know it, so sorry it is happening to you, please let me know if there is anything I can do other than make you laugh, love you girlie, hugs and prayers- hang in there.
By Laura Wilklow Hill — Feb 6, 2015 1:57pm Many prayers and LOTS of love to you! You are so strong! Stay positive, sit back and let everyone take care of YOU
By Debra Perkins — Feb 6, 2015 12:17pm Donna - You and your whole family are in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. Geographic distance from all who hold you in their hearts and time between visits does not diminish how cherished you are. So much love, and so many well wishes and prayers are coming your way from all over - we hope they give you great comfort and strength. Hugs and love, Andrew, Debra and Spencer Perkins
By Martha M — Feb 6, 2015 9:28am Dearest-- I believe you already read Jesus Calling, but today's reading really made me think of you....."Come to Me and Rest. I am around you to bless and restore. Breathe me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly to My hand. I am teaching you a difficult lesson, learned only by hardship." I wish you could skip learning this lesson and this hardship, but He has other plans. Love you dearly friend.
By Betsy — Feb 6, 2015 9:11am  My dear Donna,
I, too, wrote a post yesterday, but it is not showing now.... so I will try again. I was so very sorry to hear all of this news..... I will continue to send prayers, positive thoughts and send hugs to wrap you in love. I am happy to drive you for whatever you may need.... I will check the schedule when it is posted. Food seems to be poring in already.... what wonderful friends you have! I don't know what else to say, except I love you. Keep giving us that beautiful smile......... "What me did?"
By kathy borowski — Feb 6, 2015 8:50am Thinking and praying for you Donna every day. Please tell me what you need, you know we'll do anything to help.
By Kurt & Shawn Bowman — Feb 6, 2015 6:00am Donna: As I have said before, this is your time to receive from others. We all love you and you have loved us unconditionally. Let us take care of you, Rich and Lilli. Hold tight to Jesus - He will show you amazing things during this time. Listen for His still, small voice. Praise Him in this storm. Continually say "I trust you Jesus" and His peace will envelope you. Rest in His loving arms. Many of us have walked a similar road but all of our stories are different. Yours will be, too. But our Jesus is the same!
"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." I love you my sweet!
By Jenny Jenkins — Feb 6, 2015 12:07am Holding your hand, Donna. Love you guys.
By Love Dean and Tammy — Feb 5, 2015 11:58pm You guys know how much we love you and are praying for you. Keep focused on what is important...let the rest slide.
By Sonia Cattoi — Feb 5, 2015 8:29pm Donna, You are an incredible inspiration to so many people. You were one of my first friends in Virginia and I miss you so much right now. You have a heart the size of Texas and I have never known anyone who shared so openly in our Bible studies. ; )
Know that Ed and I are praying hard for you, Rich and the family. We love you, girl!
By Carol Frey — Feb 5, 2015 7:38pm Donna - Art and I are sending a mountain of prayers and hugs your way AND we won't stop!
By Kristen Hickman — Feb 5, 2015 7:27pm  Donna, I just want you to know that you and your family are not alone in this fight. You have an army of prayer warriors behind you, who love and adore you. Praying that He will show himself mightily on your behalf, bringing about a complete healing and restoration.
By Sandi Atkins — Feb 5, 2015 2:49pm Donna, You have given so much to so many of us and now it's our turn to give back. Our love and prayers go out to you, Rich, all the children and grandchildren and, of course, to Thelma and Snooks. Take strength from all of us - we love you.
By debbie Schneider — Feb 5, 2015 2:43pm Love you Donna Barkley--you know I'll be storming the gates for you!!!!!
By s p — Feb 5, 2015 2:16pm Donna, you have always been one of my favorite people... I don't say things like that lightly!! You are so so loved.. I'm praying boldly before the throne of our Lord and Saviour for complete healing, no more pain, and peace for you and rich and kids!! Xoxo... I'm coming to see you soon...xoxo
By Kelly Welsh — Feb 5, 2015 12:53pm Donna, I cannot stop crying! I just got word from a friend about Tuesday's appt! I went to your meal schedule and it was full already! Why does that not surprise me girl? This says a lot about you my friend! Logan and I are praying for complete healing and for peace and of course for your pain levels and the whole family! We love you so much! I know you will and always do, but continue to keep your eyes on Him every step of the way! Oxoxox
By Leslie Hagen — Feb 5, 2015 12:36pm Donna (and Rich),
You guys are all set with housekeeping every other Monday, starting this Monday if you want it. If alternating Monday's don't work, Tuesdays are also a possibility. If you don't want to start this service next week (the week of Feb 10), then we can start it the following week or whenever. Stephanie and Salud do a great job. I can vouch for how awesome they are. The only thing we need is guidance on when to come over and what should be cleaned. Other than that, this can go on auto-pilot for as long as needed.

The take a meal site was full... wow, fantastic!

Leslie
By Leslie Hagen — Feb 5, 2015 12:06pm Donna, I'm stunned. Just plain old stunned. I'm getting ready to go into full-on battle mode, with a side order of cheerleading for you.

I read KC's comments and can add to the housekeeping offer. I've reached out to my crew (Stephanie and Salud) to see about their availability to come over every other week. If they can do it, I'm buying. For those that are posting, can we find someone for the alternate weeks? I'm at 703-930-9083 to coordinate.

For meals, I'll go to the link and sign up. Donna, you know that I'm not the best cook, so if the feedback is that my meals are horrible, I gotta know. I'll pull up my big girl panties and try again or order delivery :-)

If you hear honks from 7 --- it'll be me.

We got this... you spend time taking care of yourself.

Love you,

Leslie
By Martha Munn — Feb 5, 2015 11:34am Thoughts, prayers and love to you dear friend.
By Debbie Gardner — Feb 5, 2015 11:21am Donna I am praying for strength, healing and elimination of pain for you, as well as wisdom and inspiration for your doctors and precision in your treatment plan. Love to you and your family!
By Cindy Pearson — Feb 5, 2015 11:08am Donna, my heart hurts for you. Praying you get through this quickly! Sometimes life sucks but remember we are all here for you!!
By Stef Durham — Feb 5, 2015 10:51am Sending you so much love, Donna.
By Alan Sowards — Feb 5, 2015 10:43am Donna, Traci and I are keeping you and your entire family in our prayers. Keep the faith and hang in there.
By janice burns — Feb 5, 2015 10:12am This is hard news. You are a sweet treasure - always with a smile and a kind word. Though we do not understand suffering, we know it is a part of life and yeah, it sucks. May you and your family know the comforting presence of Jesus and be filled each day with the power of his refreshing Holy Spirit. Praying for you. Really praying.
By Keith Seekford — Feb 5, 2015 9:52am Get well fast! "Discount Double Check" belt is in dispute, we have a golf re-match to settle! Love you and Rich!
By Christine Steadman — Feb 5, 2015 8:09am Donna - I started to cry when I heard your news!! I can't help but wonder why do these things happen to the good guys! If there is anything at all we can do to help out through this, please do not hesitate to reach out! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
By Judith Washburn — Feb 5, 2015 8:03am I am so shocked I can't think of anything to say at the moment except I love you so much and will do everything I can to help. Let's start with providing maid service every week. If you know of anyone you would like let me know otherwise I will take care of it.
Love you darling, Judy
By KC — Feb 5, 2015 8:01am Donna,Well, just shows you how tech savvy I am. I wrote a bunch and it obviously didn't go through since the screen is blank after signing in. Typical!
I want you to know that you mean the world to me. You have been a caring and true friend through some of the worst times and some of the best. (think Nonquitt and the dinner table…mmm!) You have given to so many, now is the time to focus on yourself and allow those of us who have benefited from your enduring friendship to give back to you. Try to rest. Remember when you were a little kid and hated naps? Naps are good. We love naps. Any nap is a good nap. Found time. Take those drugs and let yourself sleep. Stop worrying about everyone else - they will be fine. Put that guilt in a drawer and allow others to look after you. God loves you. We all love you. We are all thinking about you, my wonderful, funny, loving friend.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Donna so sorry for your suffering.I pray for you and Family.Hope things get better Love Uncle Larry